Friday, January 28, 2011

Technology blues

I try to upgrade my computer and related technology occasionally; never sooner than until I’m at least two operating systems behind but never longer than the time period between Democratic administrations.

I just updated last week – got a new Dell notebook with a beautiful 17” HD display, a Bluetooth mouse and plenty of memory. I have much less enthusiasm for everything else about this upgrade.

Much of my frustration is with Microsoft, which insists on changing everything about the user’s experience on every bit of their software as often as possible. My beef is mainly with Windows and Word. The easier it was to find and use some feature in the previous versions, the more likely they are to have changed or moved it in the new version. There is a huge learning curve every time you update which is a real disincentive to do so.

I knew this was coming so I paid and extra $100 for the Dell “Premiere” support package, but no documentation of that came with the computer; it took over an hour to figure out how to access it. Whenever I called (and I tried from three different phones) I got a crystal clear greeting and phone menu, then some whirls, clicks and whistles as the call was switched to and answered in Bangalore. At this point the quality of the connection degraded by about 60% and became very poor.

When I finally got a person on the line it got worse. Let me digress first and say that I barely speak one language well, and I have great admiration for anyone who masters more than one. But mastering a language and speaking clearly aren’t the same things, and between the bad connection and the Indian accents I wasn’t getting anywhere transferring my iTunes library from one PC to the other. I guess it was a blessing in disguise because I eventually gave up and figured it out myself, so now I have a few more tech chops than I had before.

And I swore I was going to finally get a handle on backing up data with this machine, so I bought Dell’s online back-up service, but again they sent no documentation. After another hour or so I got that working and up pops a little box telling me it will take 12 hours to back everything up and the PC and internet have to be on the whole time. OK, but unfortunately after about 10 hours the internet farted, interrupting the back-up and forcing me to start over. Second time worked like a charm until 11 hours and 30 minutes when another box informed me I had too much data for the plan I bought and that I should “click here to upgrade and start over.” I declined. I’m going back to random backing up by hand; if I lose something because I didn't back it up, it must not have been that important.

I looked for a way to get refunds for the two services I’m not using, but Dell makes it very hard to find that information. I lobbed a couple emails into two different places that looked like they might be the right spots; one elicited an auto reply telling me to take a deep breath as we “look forward to serving you as soon as possible. As of now we are experiencing unexpected high email volume due to festive season, this may delay the response to your request for assistance.” The other one got no reply.

I’m keeping this machine and software until another Bush takes office, but next time I’m not buying during "festive season."

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

My State of the Union Dilemma

I got a totally unnecessary text from Buzzard this morning reminding me that the speech and the Ohio State-Purdue basketball game both start at 9:00 p.m. eastern tonight. While I responded that “this is why God invented the DVR” I’m not sure yet which one will get the delayed viewing.

On the one hand Buzz went to Purdue and I Ohio State, which presents a unique trash-texting opportunity. The Buckeyes are 20-0 and ranked #1, but Purdue is also highly ranked and 17-3. A game like this would normally have my full focus for the evening.

But the Obama University-Southwest GOP State game is looking pretty interesting too. OU is definitely on a mini-winning streak at the moment, with the latest polls putting him at a 55% approval rating – his highest in months. Expect more easy-listening rhetoric.

And then we have the post-speech SWGOPS rebuttal in which Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) will call Obama a socialist and promise to balance the budget without mentioning that he will also eliminate Social Security, Medicare, Pell Grants, the Post Office and the FDA along the way.

We also have the unusual seating arrangements to look forward to, wherein the two teams have decided to have their respective pep squads sitting intermingled like some kind of bi-partisan daisy chain; although I gather Mitch McConnell has decided to scowl his way through the President’s speech apart from any opposing team fans and will instead sit next to and hold hands with Supreme Court Justice Thomas whose wife is out of town stalking Anita Hill.

I think it’s unlikely this new interparty sociability will lead to any sustained political cooperation but I am hoping it cuts down on the standing ovations which are more numerous every year. At Ohio State games we do the standing “O-H-I-O!” cheer but only during time outs; Congress leaps to its feet in response to every innocuous of comment creating time outs which will be especially annoying tonight when each standing O delays the start of the game another 90 seconds.

Washington is second only to Hollywood in gratuitous self-congratulations; they need Ricky Gervais to MC the SOTU speech or at least a Big Ten ref to call a few “delay of game” technicals.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Playoff picks and potpourri

Wow. Is it Saturday night already? I lose track sometimes. Well, it’s time to get tomorrow’s picks on the record. I’m feeling a lot of pressure sitting here 4-0 after last week.

I just love the idea of the Packers and Bears facing off to get into the Super Bowl on a torn up field in sub-freezing temperatures on a Sunday afternoon in late January; especially since I’ll be watching it from my couch in Florida. I’m going with the Bears at home in a very close and low-scoring game.

There is no way the Jets can beat the Stillers twice in Pittsburgh in the same year. There’s no way Troy Palamaulou allows that to happen. And yet, I’m going with the J-E-T-S, JETS, JETS, JETS all the way this year. However I do hope Braylon knocks himself out on a failed, post-game back flip.

* * *

I’m very curious to know the story behind Keith Olbermann’s sudden and mysterious departure from MSNBC. I’ve never liked him even a little, but I hope there isn’t some unseemly scandal behind it. He was the only talking head the liberals had on TV with any real following.

* * *

Ben Stiller has more Twitter followers than Sarah Palin.

* * *

It was kind of a lost week for me so you may well have read both David Brooks and Paul Krugman in the Times last Friday the 21st. Each addressed the apparently uncrossable divide separating the political left and right in the country today. Krugman’s “A Tale of Two Moralities” explained the gap from a structural standpoint while Brooks’ “Tree of Failure” looked at from the perspective of the current social atmosphere. Both are interesting in their own right but together they are fascinating.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

d'Blank goes 4-0!

I hope you all went to Vegas on my picks this weekend. I'm selling next week's selections for $20. (Oh yeah, Fenway was also 4-0 but I picked first.)

Friday, January 14, 2011

NFL playoff picks

Time again for the annual Daily Blank NFL playoff picks. I strongly urge you to liquidate all your assets, fly to Vegas, and put it all on my picks this year. Don’t let the following facts deter you in the slightest.

  1. I have watched exactly two NFL games from start to finish this year. The first was the Browns-Jets game which I had to watch with no sound in some dumpy sports bar in Florida.
  2. The second was the Browns-Dolphins game live in Miami. You will note that neither the Browns nor the Dolphins will be competing in the playoffs this year.
  3. During several years of participation in my office fantasy football league I was routinely beaten by at least half of the women and both gay guys.

So, that said, I predict the following with complete confidence:

  • Ravens @ Steelers. I won’t be watching this one. For me it’s like watching the Taliban v. the Nazis knowing not only that one team will win but that it is also unlikely that a Tsunami will hit the stadium during the game wiping out both teams and their revolting fans. Ray Lewis is the devil. Stillers by 3.
  • Packers @ Falcons. Don’t hate either team. Used to be mildly anti-Packers due to their having too much success, but I’m over that now and like their small town roots and old school unis. Packers by 3.
  • Seahawks @ Bears. I saw much of their improbable win over NO, but can’t believe the ‘Hawks are for real. We’re looking at a high of 22° in Shacaga Sunday. I say the dome-boys fold. Bears by 10.
  • Jets @ Pats. Hate Bellychuck. Hate Braylon. Brady played for Michigan. Santonio and Mangold were both Buckeyes. My upset special: Jets by 1.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

A recipe for domestic tranquility

Are you tired of the same old cold leftovers served up by the prevailing political ruling class? Here is a fun and easy way to combine the things that are already in the fridge to make a tasty new dish for national consumption. This stuff is just going stale anyway; we might as well use it up.

Take the following steps:

  1. Fill our prisons with as many drug users and low-level dealers as possible, diverting as many legal resources as possible from pursuing, prosecuting and imprisoning the most dangerous criminals.
  2. Refuse to fill as many judgeships as possible in order to checkmate your political foes and keep them from rewarding their own political sympathizers.
  3. Empty the mental institutions and make it as hard as possible to hold someone for mental evaluation in the name of patients' rights. (This step has the added advantage of freeing-up funds to build more prisons to hold all the dangerous marijuana growers.)
  4. Make it as easy as possible for anyone to own a gun. Refuse to put any reasonable restrictions on gun ownership and make the few conditions you do have ineffective. Let anyone who wants one have a Glock and 33 load clips. Hell, let’s give ‘em bazookas.
  5. The above step will create a healthy firearms industry; export as much as possible of the excess production to Mexico, helping to destabilize our closest neighbor.
  6. Add a massive portion of common theft by the most privileged, best educated members of society and do not punish them in any way for their destruction of trillions of dollars of Americans’ savings. In fact, reward them with a $700 billion tax cut.
  7. Add a pinch of liberal demogodery and a pound and a half of Fox News.
  8. Now put it all in a hot oven set to 10% unemployment (with another 10-15% underemployed).
  9. Borrow as much money as you possibly can to make as much of this soup as you can. Give no thought what-so-ever to whether you'll ever be able to repay the money.

This should produce a really tasty treat that all members of your family will enjoy for years to come.

Monday, January 10, 2011

A few thoughts on Tucson

After learning more about the gun laws in Arizona, or the lack there of, I don’t think I will even visit the state and I would advise those I care about to steer clear as well.

I was expecting a non-apology apology from Sarah Palin for the crosshair imagery she used in her ads “targeting” Rep. Gifford’s district, but even that was too much to expect. Her response was that she never intended the image to represent a gun sight, and that it was just the normal thing you would see on a map. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a map with anything resembling crosshairs on it.

Several members of Congress are now talking about introducing legislation that would forbid carrying guns near members of Congress. So in addition to having health care that none of the rest of us has, Congress would then have protection from guns none unavailable to the rest of us. Of course the NRA will never allow such legislation to pass so it’s a moot point.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Just because the Republicans hate it…

One of the best parts about being in Chile for 16 days was the complete absence of American political news. I didn’t read a newspaper once and the only TV I watched was a five-hour CSI marathon with my kids over a couple of bottles of wine on a slow night in Cachagua. It was like being in an isolation chamber. It was heavenly. We pay too much attention to the clowns in Washington; it only encourages them.

Reality returned quickly once we landed in Florida to hear that the Republicans were about to take over the House and their first order of business was going to be to repeal the latest health care legislation. I was initially worried but then they decided to read the U.S. Constitution out loud on the House floor first. This hipped me to the fact that a simple House majority wasn’t enough to repeal an already enacted law. Man, thank goodness that the rest of us are now in on the secrets that lie within the Constitution; it wasn’t good having only the Tea-baggers as the only Americans who understand the fundamentals of our democracy. Thankfully we all know now.

So then repealing health care legislation in the House sounded like a pretty unproductive exercise until I read David Brooks' piece in the Times this morning, and now I’m not so sure. While I pretty much hate the Republican party even more than the Democratic party, one has to be careful not to fall into the trap of thinking they are wrong 100% of the time. Just because the Republicans hate something doesn’t make it a good thing.

I had a great deal of ambivalence from the beginning. Any bill that starts with major concessions to Big Pharma and the insurance industry can’t be all good. Then throw in the Nebraska compromise and a few other bribes paid to various Senators to get them to vote “yea,” roll the whole thing up in a bill the size of Twain’s autobiography, pass it in the middle of the night before anyone has really read it, and just how good can it be?

Well, lots of people say “better than no bill” but what if it ends up costing the country hundreds of billions of dollars instead of saving similar amounts as promised? I say that is worse than nothing. Not only can’t we afford it, but it will poison the well for all future “progressive“ legislation of any kind because it will forever stand as a shining example of the Democrats’ unwillingness to consider the practicality and functionality of any legislation at the expense of liberal dogma. I highly recommend the Brooks piece if you haven't already read.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Chillin’ in Chile

Happy New Year everyone. I’ve just spent two-and-a-half weeks in Chile with my family and if I had the descriptive powers of a travel writer I’d make this a long love letter to that country. I don’t have those skills but I’d like to give you a few reasons to put Chile on your list of places to visit someday.

To give you a little perspective, the population is about 17 million, a little smaller than Florida’s, and it is a little bigger than Texas in size; a good deal of the land mass takes the form of the Andes Mountains that run the length of the country along the eastern border and the Pacific Ocean borders on the west. On average Chile is only 110 miles wide.

The population of the capital city of Santiago is nearly 7 million but it feels much smaller and less dense than New York which has 8 million people. In fact Atlanta feels bigger to me. I mean this in a good way. The city has an open airy feel to it. There are historic areas with 18th and 19th Century European influences, but Chile grew tremendously in the late 20th Century and much of it has a very modern appearance with very hip architecture and lots of small, attractive parks and wide streets. Traffic is bad, but no worse than most big cities, and they have a modern, clean and efficient subway system that we used quite a bit. The bus system is also said to be good but I didn’t try them. Taxis are plentiful and cheap.

Santiago has lots of modern hotels and interesting restaurants and both are comparable to the cost of visiting a large American city. They are said to have an honest and professional police force, although I had no experience in that area either. The population is almost entirely European, native people, or a racial mix of the two; we saw almost no people of obvious Asian or African descent.

Santiago sits right at the base of the Andes. It was the beginning of their summer when we arrived and, like many basin cities, Santiago is occasionally plagued with smog issues. But we had a nice clear week there. Every day was sunny, about 75-80 degrees with zero humidity. Absolutely lovely.

Our son Joe is spending his junior year at the University of Chile and has been there since last July, so we had a fluent Spanish-speaking guide. A few words of Spanish go a long way there and it is pretty easy to find English speakers if you need one. That said it was great having someone with local knowledge to show us around.

Our daughter Charlotte joined us a few days into the trip and after a couple more days in Santiago we made our way to the coast, stopping along the way at one of several notable wine-producing areas within the country. It’s only an hour-and-a-half car ride from Santiago to the Pacific, but we took a looping route that took us through Viña del Mar on our way to the village of Cachagua.

Our old friend from New York, Jon May, who has lived in Chile for more than 20 years, told us that Viña was the Jersey Shore and Cachagua the Hamptons of Chile; the analogy was pretty good. Viña was a large beach town with tons of hotels, restaurants, bars, shops and a casino. It was also very crowded and hectic. Absolutely worth a visit, but at least three of the four of us were glad to have picked the more sedate Cachagua with its miles of uncrowded beaches broken up by stretches of rocky coast.

The beaches were fantastic but better suited to the sea lions and penguins that populate the area. While the air temp was near 80 the water was below 60 and the only people in it were surfers in wet suits.

These beaches were for lying or walking upon. They alternated with very old stone paths through the rocky stretches so that it was possible to walk for miles though a string of similar small villages along the coast. The stone paths were typically at the bottom of tall cliffs upon which sat large, old homes belonging to the Chilean elite. We saw a couple of helicopters sitting on their beachside pads.

The sandy beach areas were also dominated by beautiful homes, more often of the Chilean modern style, which I like very much. The analogy to the Hamptons is good to a point, but I don’t think I saw a home over 10,000 square feet. While that is certainly a very big home, there were no mini-Hyatt-Hotel-personal-dwellings on these beaches, and I estimate that more than 90% of the homes were less than 3000 square feet. My point is that the area scored pretty low on the mine-is-bigger-than-yours scale. This extended to automobiles; we saw far more Subarus than Mercedes.

We had a really nice, spacious, modern apartment walking distance to the beach, but facing west over the countryside. Rooster crowed at dawn. No alarm needed.

Dogs are everywhere in Chile. The authorities pick them up, vaccinate and spay and then release them. Everyone feeds them. In Santiago they stand patiently at street corners and cross with the pedestrians when the light turns in their favor. My son told me one walked him home one night after he’d had a few beers, warding away a couple of other strays he didn’t like the looks of. When Joe got to his place the dog walked him to his door and then left.

In Cachagua they’d lead us done the stone paths or accompany us to the market. Between walks they laid in the dirt streets in a sunny patch; cars and pedestrians worked around them. They didn’t beg and they mostly appeared to be well fed and clean. They were charming.

We ate very well. Chile is not noted for its restaurants, but there are some good ones and the local fruits and vegetables are excellent. Avocados (called paltas there) are served with everything and were delicious. My new favorite food may be something called “pastel de choclo” which is a kind of chicken and onion soup served in a heavy croc over which is layered something like corn pudding. It is baked until the top has a golden crust. Fantastic.

The local chorizos are very good, although they like to serve them “Italian style” with avocado, tomatoes and mayo, so-called because it resembles the red, green and white of the Italian flag. We had a nice kitchen and a grill in Cachagua, and Joe likes to cook. I preferred the chorizos with his homemade salsa served on a particular type of Chilean bread called marraquitas. I’d go to the paneria every morning for a supply hot from the oven; after ten it was gone replaced by another type we liked less.

On a one day visit to Valparaiso we stumbled across an empanada shop that served nothing but five kinds of empanadas, three kinds of soda, and tea, the traditional accompanying beverage with Chile’s version of the hamburger. They were fresh from the oven and delicious, and we had the satisfaction of being the only non-Chileans in the joint, which is always a fun feeling – like we were in the know.

We had several spectacular seafood meals near Cachagua. One at Punta del Mar in Maitencillo, and two at Chiringuito in Zapallar. The food was similar at both; traditional Chilean treatments of basic shellfish and fish taken from the ocean that morning. It was fresh, simple and tasty beyond my limited vocabulary’s ability to do the food justice. They were both very nice places but Chiringuito was truly special. It sits on the beach in Zapallar, which is a small horseshoe shaped cove – partially sand and partially rocky. We sat in carved wooden chairs outside under a perfect blue sky while pelicans dove for their own lunch as we ate ours. Multi-colored fishing boats bobbed in the gentle waves. I’ve never eaten in a more perfect setting.

As anyone who has been in a wine shop in the past few decades knows, Chile makes some very fine wines and we sampled many of them. They were terrific and cheap. Finally, on the food front, if you go to Santiago, be sure to eat at my friend Jon May’s place, the Tortilla Factory, one of Chile’s few Mexican restaurants. It’s better than any Mexican restaurant I’ve eaten in in New York and they serve the world’s best smoothies. It’s in Las Condes, one of the nicest parts of the city.

I didn’t think this post would be so long, but I wanted to do justice to a lovely country we enjoyed so much. I haven’t even mentioned how friendly the people were, and after all, that’s what really makes any place special. I’ve left out too much. For anyone who is interested you can see photos from the trip on my Facebook page.

Was it perfect? Well, the only downside of a visit to Chile that I can think of is that it is a long way there and relatively expensive to get to. It was ten hours of flying from Orlando plus a three-hour layover in the Panama City airport, not something I can recommend as a good time unless you enjoy unlimited “duty-free” shopping at prices about 20% higher than those at your local mall.

But that was a small price to pay for a wonderful travel experience, and there is so much more to see. We didn’t even get up into the real Andes, or to the southern end of Chile which has some of the most spectacular land in the world, often called “the Yosemite of Chile.” Northern Chile has one of the largest deserts on earth. Maybe next time.

Adios.