Sunday, November 2, 2008

The worst person in the world

I should have called this post “Ben Aflac is actually a really good actor.” His Keith Olbermann take off last night on SNL was brilliant – revealing him as the pompous, self-righteous, tool that he is. I saw Olbermann walking down 49th Street, near the GE Building, recently, and had to restrain myself from greeting him with a hearty “hello douche bag” as we passed, which was my strong inclination.

I’m happy to report that he looks much worse in person than on TV. He’s kind of short, at least compared to what I had expected, and really soft looking. He has one of those gushy, wide rear ends. In fact he looked really soft all over -- what my high school football coaches used to call “a real cake-eater.” Plus, he was wearing his studio makeup – lipstick, rouge, the whole schmegeggie. (Or maybe I’m giving him too much credit – maybe it was his everyday street makeup.) In any event it made the whole package truly frightening.

Speaking of SNL, I thought John McCain was funny and personable; everything he hasn’t been on the campaign trail. But did anyone else detect a hint of surrender in the opening bit? I was surprised McCain went along with the part where Tina Fey did her little aside, pitching the “Palin 2012” tee-shirts. It seemed a little too close to the reality of the situation to me. I would have thought he have balked at including it.
[Happy Birthday Charly!]


Fistinyoface said...

Fistinyoface reviles Keith Olberman with a contempt reserved for the likes of mass-murderer Janet Reno. In fact, as KO ages, he will resemble Mr. Reno more and more.

Whenever I see his face, I can’t turn the page or punch the remote quick enough to remove his visage from my sight.

Blogmaster is nothing if not observant. His keen eye correctly assessed Keithy as the squishy, doughy, un-manly lard-ass that he is.

Imagine Keithy’s face constrained within the starched stricture of a Dominican nun’s wimple… SEE him… as Sister Mary Keith.

Should he ever make the move from teleprompter-reading cable imbecile to slightly more challenging film thespian imbecile, he’s a cinch to reprise Ned Beatty’s role in Deliverance.

Keithy would squeal with zeal and make true the words of toothless cracker Bill McKinney as he grunted between pelvic thrusts… “Looks like we got us a SOW here instead of a boar!”

Woody said...

Olberman comes across as a real jerk. I wonder what effect he has had on NBC's ratings? I will end my personal boycott of NBC when they dump Olberman.

d'blank said...

I am most pleased to have hit a raw nerve among manly men who share my disgust with this whimp in tough-guy drag.

jb said...

ESPN used to have a one hour wrap up show of the NFL and it was brilliant TV. When NBC got the rights to "Football Night in America" (the dumbest title ever) ESPN stopped their show. Now it is on NBC with KO, a smug midget named Bob Costas, and a smug lawyer named Chris Collingsworth. It is unwatchable.

Kudos blogmaster!

jb said...

PS. Happy Birthday Charly!

MikeyLikesIt said...

WHY does everybody hate this guy?

i ask this sincerely -- i saw him for 3 minutes once on nbc, he was just another boring dweeb reading a teleprompter.

a few people in my office seem to think he is too "liberal" whatever that is supposed to mean. but i figured they have a political axe to grind. that doesn't explain the psycho hatred exemplified by the fistface post.

Gaga said...

I like the guy. I got no idea what he does behind closed doors. Dont care either. I think he's a lefty but thats ok w / me. I like the fact that he signs off his own show with "it's been (x # of days) since mission accomplished." I hear a straight talker with a lighter side. I must say though that I perfer getting my news from Chris Rock, now that George Carlyn has passed.

hankster said...

KO is a mirror for right wing America to gaze into. Unlike GW Bush, you wouldn't have a good time with him at a barbecue. But he does deliver a shoe on the other foot, taste of their own medicine: the self-serving self-righteousness of Bill O'Reilley and Rush with an attitude.

Rest assure Keith is even more uncomfortable in his own skin than he gets under yours.

A profile on him last year in The New Yorker paints him as a troubled soul.

Woody said...

Olbermann practices a form of demagoguery that is intellectually and morally offensive. His suggestion that a fellow political commentator was masturbating while watching the Biden-Plan debate is repulsive and reflects poorly on NBC and Olbermann. With comments like that how can Olbermann or NBC News be taken seriously? NBC would be wise to get rid of him before he drags them down to his level.

Woody said...

Ooops Palin not Plan!

d'blank said...

Woody – the rumor is that Tom Brokaw forcefully and successfully lobbied NBC management to get Olbermann off the “news” coverage on election night and into “opinion/commentary” spots only.

Mikey – had to pick just one thing. I guess it would be a toss up between soaring self-importance and stunning self-righteousness. I posted the SNL clip to the right. It speaks volumes.

kgwhit said...

My daughter is at NBC News at 30 Rock and she says that most people look at KO as an ass. She probably agrees with half of what he says but still doesn't like him.

I asked what he looked like and she said that I could probably beat him up. This is not a good sign for KO given my age and protruding stomach.

She said that KO was dumped from election coverage as much because Chris Mathews and KO can't stand each other as anything Brokaw did.

She was down in DC doing a story this weekend and told me the hot property at NBC is Rachel Maddow.

With her and Lisa Myers it can become the lesbian network.

d'blank said...

...not that there's anything wrong with that.

warrenoutohio said...

Well now, I think he knows he's a buffoon,Laughing all the way to the bank while it lasts. Probably end up blugeoned to death ala Bob Crane. I'm still laughing at fistinyourface.Since I had to worry less about a heart attack today.The column and reponses were a welcome change.

kgwhit said...

The all lesbian network would be something we all would celebrate.

It was a surprise that CBS news seriously considered Olberman to replace Rather before going on to Couric.

It seems like a horrible idea to have someone like him as the anchor.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, where is the reason behind you hating Olberman?

hankster said...

What did LBJ say about some dictator? "He may be a bastard, but he is our bastard!"

If only both right and left sides of the aisle would flush their toilets... but it is good copy and sells air time.

Fistinyoface said...

BOB CRANE bludgeoning?

Warrenoutohio, that's funny!
Fistinyoface likes you.

Blogmaster, howzabaout posting the police photo of Bob's tripod-arranged brains sloughing off the pillow? We can have a caption contest!

My entry: " I’m ready for my closeup…”

CharlyB said...

Thanks for the bday wishes!

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